Smile for life

Why is it when a death happens people step back and look at themselves. Suddenly they are worthless, there life has not been fulfilling enough, theses are the moments when you need to stand up, say what you have been scared to say, do what you have been scared to do. Theses are the moments you need to widen your view, believe what others tell you. Believe you have something more to offer the world, smiles save lives. Smile for life, and shed a tear for death. Learn from your mistakes before its to late, Do everything you are scared of and become even more amazing.
So please smile and save my life.
I'll pray for you and your happiness, I hope you learn to smile again. Smile that amazing smile that saved my life. You are my one my amazing.

You've broke this doll one more time

Every time I get close to you again
You lock everything up
And you break my heart
How am I suppose to move on
And dream
If I'm always having to pick myself up
After you break me one more time
This china doll can only break so many times

Pull or push

You have changed your no longer the one I love. Your drifting away from me again and you seem not to care. How am I suppose to smile if your the only reason I smile. My smile walks away with you. There's nothing left to smile about there's nothing left to wish for. Your walking away from me and you don't care. Your leaving me in tears, you know you are, yet you still walk away. Temptations in my mind, should I have a smoke, should I slit my wrists and worry about nothing any more. Should I leave this world like you left me. You left me here alone. Alone with no one to lean on. Was my love not enough for you. Should I have loved you different, is it that you cant love me? Please tell me why you are drifting away I want to pull you back to me but I fear I'm only pushing you away.

Love?

If love is a word then why does it hurt so much? Maybe I was wrong maybe love is more then just a word. Maybe, just maybe love is something amazing, something exciting. This word love is it meant to be confusing? Is love meant to be hurtful? Or is love flowers and chocolates? Is love lonely, is love scary? Can you be in love but still be alone? Can love span distances? Is love something that only comes once? Once you've lost love can you find it again or is love lost forever? Once you one can you love another? What's the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone? Can you be in love with someone but not love them? Is love suppose to make you crazy? Did Halmark create love jus to sell cards teddy bears and other cute things? Can you choose who you love? Or does it just happen? Can you decide to love some one just like you decide to hate someone? One day do you just fall in love, do you just magicaly love someone? Or do you need to work at it? Does love slowly sneak up on you? If a boy gives you a flower is that love or just a kind gesture? If love isn't a word then why do people throw love around like a word? Is love a word to fill space? Is love a word to use when you leave some one you care about? Or is love only meant for the one that makes the word love real real?

I want to care

Joy of a new relationship. The feeling of a first kiss,
The sparkle in your eyes when you see that new love,
The feeling deep in your gut saying, this could go so bad
But you go for it any ways, right off the deep end
Part of you wants it to end before you really care but the other part
The other part is say... It would be neat to care that much
I wonder what it would feel like
It care about some one so much that your willing to let them pay
You willing to let them care for you when before it was you.
Only you could care for you. Is letting some one in caring.
Is it that you cared enough to let them in.
All I know is I want to care for you I want you to spoil me
I want to be the one you care about.

Learn from your mistakes

For the future I pray, for the past I look back on.
I have done my shameful things, I have hurt ones I care about.
The future can look bright for me, if I have learned from my mistakes.
Mistakes are the gateway to a great future, an amazing life.
If you can learn from mistakes made you can become stronger, wiser.
The wises of people have made the most mistakes,
The people who believe they are never wrong are the ones that fall short.
To admit you fucked up, to try to make it right,
Those are the people who's spirits go on forever living in the minds of all
In the past I have done things I never want to remember, but I will
I will learn from them, No more scars from the mistakes I have already made
No more bloody arms, no more alcohol filled tears.
I will be strong, stay true to myself and only me.
My body will remain my temple for me to taint, for me to destroy.
My past has left its mark, I want to make a mark on my future.
Not have my future leave a mark on me.
Looking forward to the future, always looking back at my mistakes.
I know your one of them, I know I did my fair share.
You will always be my biggest mistake with the biggest mark on my heart.

Something new

Something new, something amazing, something different. Have I finally grown up, smartened up. You will be my test to that. You will be my test for a lot of things. Can I stay true to some one as good as you? Are you too good for me? Can I manage to go to all my classes? Can I manage to stay clean? You are the first to treat me like gold. I hope I don't run away. For if I do I fail the test I have put myself up to. I shall not fail, I must not fail. I can't hurt you I can't hurt me. You are some thing I have never had before something fragile something delicate. Something never want to break.

Teen inspiration

Inspiration filled lives, drama packed worthy to be written and dreamt about Teen drama filled with love, hurt and that one you can never have To tell the story of your high school days The drama of baby scares, suicide, depression, new love and old heart aches New stories, same old cast, special appearances by bad boys troublesome girls Lost lovers and new interests bad boys to catch the eye of the "perfect" girl. The troublesome girl to catch the eye of the "amazing" boy every girl wants. Inspiration for one girl to write out and play with.

Romeo

With out you I am lost, but with you I'm blind to the world and new adventures.
I guess I cant be with or with out you. Should I close my eyes and imagine you there, or should I wake up from my sleep. Notice your gone and move on. Wondering around like a lost dog. With out you I have no where to go no one to run too, With you I can only dream of being with you. Even though I can't have you I wait I can't find another like you, I cant find another man to match your level. You are my one my only yet I can never have you I can never hold you close, you will never be real. Forever my Romeo, only in my heart. Dead to the world. Love burning bright in a cemetery, a cemetery filled with broken hearts and lost lovers. Never to find one another just know they are there. I'm to broken to get up an move on. I hear your voice from a distance, telling me I deserve better I deserve more I deserve the best. But you are my best and I can't be with you, I cant be with out you. You are impossible you are my amazing, beautiful love but you will always be my Romeo. Close enough to feel the passion. Deadly enough to kill us before we start. You have always been that other guy. The one I'll break everything off to be with. When things go good you are there when things fall apart and I need to be picked up you are there. Just out of my reach as always. When I think I've finally moved on and given up on you, I see that smile and I fall in love all over again. What is love. I want to believe its worthless, but the feeling that comes over me when I see that smile is more then anything else. So dear Romeo please only be my Romeo.

Ex-boyfriends

A ex-boyfriend that cheated on me treated me better then you ever will, I will be innocent, I'm not a fucking whore like you said, I'm strong considering I pick myself up after every time you cut me down, lie to my face, and make me cry, He is better then you will ever be. He is held high on a Mountain for a reason, he's kind, he's saved my life not threatened it. He is my savor your nothing but a scared boy, a boy to scared to show people the real you, you hide behind your big bad attitude, I've cried enough tears over you. I'm moving on, moving up, you are a low point I will never go back. Considering even after I caught you in a lie you still go one with it, I'm sure you've messed around with my head just to have your fun. Move on to your next victim. Your done cutting me down, your trapped in a box and put in the back of my closet. A memory I can look at and know I did the right thing. I broke it off for a reason. You had me in tears one to many times. Looking back I regret things. I know I say no regrets, you say you've had no regrets. Lets just say the first time it ended I shouldn't have gone back, the second time it ended I should have shot myself. I was scared of you what kind of relationship is based on fear. Not a good one. I would eat up your lies, I thought everything would get better but it never did. I should have ended it sooner, you threatened the life of my friends just because they looked just because they touched. My body, my temple. I say who has the keys, who can touch who can look. You said not to punish you for what my past boyfriends had done, but I was right in doing so, you turned out just like them. A guy you didn't want me to see I saw, I had a good time with him hell I even cheated on you with him, after he cheated on me he treated me better then you ever did, he cared, he never hurt me hell he cheated And I wasn't even mad at him, maybe it was his charm, personally I think it was the fact that he showed me you can have fun in a relationship, we lost are fun along time ago, I'm happy you found your heart again, and I'll sit and listen to you talk about how amazing she is and say nothing. Considering the last time I said something you cut me down, reminded me my dad was a chain smoker and may never see me get married, and reminded me that Dustin really does live to far away to love how I want to. The tears I cried that night will never come back, I will look back on you as a memory of pain, a memory of something I had for 5 months and hurt me for 4 of them. I'm finally happy now that I don't have to live in fear of you, I smile everyday. No more tears fall from these eyes so screw you I've moved on its over and I will regret it all. Every last month, every last week every last day, every last minute, every last second. Every tear I've cried, I've crack my heart has cracked, you are gone out of my life and I'm happy. Thanks for the great lesson, a cheater is better then you...

Change

Excitement of a new love interest. Looking into his eyes knowing there's something that will fail. Waiting for everything to fall apart, Knowing something is wrong. Nothing this good happens to me, heartbreak and disaster fallow my every move. How can this work. Maybe a change is good, maybe a change is what I need. Maybe this will change me as a whole. My life may take a turn for the best.

A drop of rain

To be a single drop or rain, to know your fate is to fall. To know your falling and unable to do anything but enjoy the trip. Free fall to the ground. To be the rain that falls to wash away all your pain, wash away all the dirt. To dance as a rain drop next to lightening. The lightening that burns holes in the earth, The amazing shock that lights up the sky. To be the little worthless rain drop to dance along side a bolt of lightening would be the greatest gift of a sweet and innocent rain drops life falling for all of time, always knowing your going to fall.