Tension

The moment at the end
Where all is told
Where the day unfolds and hearts are on the line
A bitter taste in his mouth
Her sweaty palms
He says words that would normal break her
She agrees, she waits to move one
A tension in the air, He leans over
She can smell his hair, Her eyes close in fear
His soft lips touch her pale skin
All his words suddenly mean nothing
All she can think ,how i miss those lips
The warms of his body next to hers
How she misses his arms, the strength
Comfort is all over
Now only tension and a void
His famous last words ring in her ears
Is this the end
Or just a new begining

In my words

Independence in my words
Abandoning all reason
Turmoil in my heart
Uncertain for the future
Hope in what life will bring

Break free

No one can see the scars I feel, the agony I can't express
I know i have to show no fear
I know he cant win
but he has
I was trying so hard to be strong for you and all i did was torture my soul
I'm not whole anymore, I don't want this sickness in me anymore
I want to break free, now I'm sure if i can
Now how can some one want a body
I myself can bare to be in
My scars run deeper then you can ever know

I was so scared no one would want my tainted body
I was a fool, my body is only as polluted as i see it
If i believe I'm free I will be
I can be wild, no amount of suffering can hold me back this time
Its all or nothing at all
I'm going for you
you and him are no longer holding me back

Addiction

If this is what happiness is?
Why did I live in pain for so long?
You held me back, you crippled me
Your love was an addiction gone to far
I finally hit rock bottom
Now I can move up and move on

Go for it

Lost in a smile
Confused in a happy moment
Why am I so addicted to your smile?
Am I losing control?
Should I still jump in blind?
With out thought
Or should take a step back
Do I listen to my gut?
And say fuck it go for it
Or do I guard my heart again
Can I put my own fears aside?
Be open be honest
Not just with him
But with myself

Alone

How do you show some one the best part of you?
When you’re just finding it again
I’m lost in this world, a world totally new
For the first time I’m alone
I’m facing the world alone for the first time
Amazingly I’m not as scared as I thought I would be
I’m just going to take it as it goes
Try and make the best of it for me

Moving on

Who needs love at such a young age?
What ever happened to just have fun
See what life brings you
I’m done wanting what I can’t have
Moving up moving on becoming something better
No more being fake, take me how I am
Or don’t bother, you can’t tame me anymore
I’m not going to fit in perfectly
But hell I’ve never been perfect
And that’s the way I like it
I’m not going to try and be who you want
I’m going to be me so deal with it
I’m wild I’m free I’m spunky I’m sassy
I love it so to bad if you don’t

Innocence

How innocent life once was
As simple as swing sets and sugar rushes
The older we get the more we wish life was
Was as simple when we new nothing

When the only thing that scared us was the dark
And no mater how bad a fight was it was over in a day
When you wanted to run away the only place that felt like home was the park
Now we go back and remember all those simple things

Now we taint our bodies with booze and drugs
What happened to the innocents we once had
Now there are all these empty kisses and meaningless hugs
How times change

How friends become enemies
How the innocent ones become rebellious
How the guilty fall to there knees
How enemies become friends

New

What do I do when all I want is to smile
But I’m to scared to go for it
I was so closethere was music playing
the smell of sex in the air
I had been with out that beat in my heart for so long
Overwhelmed and nervous
To scared to get to close
Unsure what to say
Unsure what to do
Do I jump in head first
Then wait and see if I can swim
I've always settled for what I had
I want to fight for once
I want to fight for the smile I have when I see you
Overwhelmed and nervous
To scared to get to close
Unsure what to say
Unsure what to do

The unknown ahead

What am I to do when everything you do is hot or cold
How am I suppose to react, how am I suppose to deal
Should I run now and not bother,
Or should I wait and see
All I want to do is smile and laugh when I see you
Yet there’s this pain I don’t want to feel pain anymore
I want to be happy and not care
I want to live life free and not have to answer to anyone
What am I to do when I know in my heart that I like you
Yet I know I don’t want to deal with bull shit anymore
I want to move on and smileWhy are you trying to bring me down
When all I want to do is flyWho are you to hold me back
Who are you to try and hold me down
You say you cant deal with all that bullshit anymore
Then who are you to try and make me deal with your bullshit
I'm not going to bring myself down againI want to be free and fly
I dealt with two years of shitI'm not about to deal with even two minutes more
So I guess what I’m saying is I'm runningAnd running fast
You tell me not to hang all over a guy who is like my brother
Then give me a sign that you carestop running hot and cold
All I want to do is flyWho are you to hold me back
Your nothing but a boyYou may think your a man
But if you where a man you would know how to handle a woman
Who are you to try to hold me downAll I want to do is fly
I don’t want to be held downBut I do want you
So please don’t let me run
Show me you care